Test tomorrow
Ugh

Recorded some shows but they were all kind of off, eh. That’s what two weeks of no practice does to you

Friday….

I’ve been doing homework since last night and I still have more to do, but I want to stop today and record a gloving vid….so look out for that.

Update: I’m alive

If you ask anyone why they’re doing something, there’s usually some motive behind it. There’s usually a goal; you’ve probably heard things like “I’m saving up money so I can go to a show in July,” “I’m exercising more so I can become healthier,” or even “I’m cleaning my room before my parents come over so I don’t look like a slob.” Right now, I’m saying things like “I’m studying ahead of time so I can make a good mark on the test next week.” That’s common. That’s standard behavior, I feel. It makes sense to plan ahead. It makes sense to be productive. Lately, though, I’ve been considering why we produce in the first place. We produce for the future, but for what future? The future is uncertain. Although measuring uncertainty is the hallmark of any general statistics class, it’s the principle of the notion that nothing we prepare for is certain that has me feeling lost. The past is an ink blot of nostalgia and the future is predictable, but uncertain. That only leaves the present, and lately I’ve forgotten to pay attention to it. I notice we work day-to-day towards our own personal agendas in the hopes that they’ll play out according to our visions of our future. We walk through door after door after door until we finally see something on the other side that we like—something that resembles our initial idea of our future self. Yet, those doors, for some of us, may take longer than we planned to open. For some of us, the doors may never open. How do you cope with that? If our princess is at another castle, and we only have enough battery for a few more minutes of the game, what do we do then? If the thing we’ve been preparing for longer than we remember no longer is an option, what then? What about the present?

High chance of anxiety this time of year….